Stuff Management

Dealing with everyday things — now, and decades later

A couple of weeks ago the librarian at the local library forwarded an e-mail inquiry to me from a person who claimed she had come into possession of some identifiable memorabilia from my family. This person, whom I will call “A.,” found my name in one of my parents’ online obituaries. When she googled my name, an old article from one of the local papers linking me to the local library came up. It must have seemed like a shot in the dark to her, but it paid off.

We are so beset with scams and fraud these days that before responding, I wanted to do some research of my own. I won’t go into detail, but the few things I found online indicated an upstanding person without evil intent. So A. and I wrote back and forth and agreed to meet at the library. 

The family practice of moving out of a longstanding home had been to clear out everything of value and then pay or have someone pay to take away the rest. Readers of this newsletter already know a little about the photos and memorabilia that I rescued in 2006. My assertion in that earlier post that Dad’s entire photo collection ended up in my hands is now proven incorrect, but it does hint at my current household’s frustration with what we call “stuff management” — the feeling of being surrounded by things that have accumulated over the centuries. Not only do G. and I live in a house that has been in my family for almost 100 years, but we both have ended up with a lot of our parents’ belongings, especially documents, including financial and real estate records.  Managing these items seems like an ongoing process that continually needs time and good judgment.  Needless to say, my feelings about acquiring even more of this “stuff” were mixed. Part of me hoped that most of what A. had found would turn out to be unconnected with me, or at least, duplicates of items I already have.  

In the end, A. and I had a nice conversation. She was happy to turn over to me the things she had that are clearly related to my family. I sent her on her way with good wishes and a little gas money, and my thanks for traveling to meet me.  I went home with a smallish stack of photos, many of which I’d never seen before.  Am I a hoarder?

G. and I talked this over and we both were reminded of the story of Vivian Maier, whose life’s work in photography was discovered and promoted posthumously by the guy who purchased the contents of her storage unit(s?) when the rent was in arrears. Vivian Maier’s hoarding tendencies and her dying alone led to a happy revealing of her incredible photographic vision to the world, although I gather that there is some dispute over who gets to benefit from that now.  I was fascinated by the Ann Marks biography.  I can’t help thinking that Maier herself would be upset about the posthumous outcome.  She was a very private person.  Vivian Maier has distant relatives now living in France.  I wonder what they think of her fame.

G. also reminded me that her sister works as a move manager, helping families sort through their stuff to make sure everything lands appropriately. I am forever asking G.’s sister to let me know if any vintage Nikons or Leicas come up, and she invariably tells me that the family gets those. Selfish joking aside, I do think she performs a valuable service.  But if I, my siblings, or my parents had taken the time to employ someone like this, I wouldn’t have had the privilege of meeting A.

I am so impressed by the video on YouTube that A. created. I am impressed with the deferential way that she asked permission every step of the way in her process. She tells the story accurately and discreetly. I appreciate her motivation, which simply seems to come from the goodness of her heart. She told me that her TikTok followers really like it when her story reconnects old artifacts with the families they came from.  She told me about her own art, which I am anxious to see more of.  She’s got a show up right now through March 9 at UMass Dartmouth Gallery 244, Star Store, and I hope to see it.

My thanks to G. as always for editorial help.

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